Jonathan Ross’s Halloween parties are my favourite thing about Halloween.
I’d always thought of the mornings as essentially uninhabitable, like the planet Mercury. But no. I head out the door at 7am and there they are - actual live people! - making me jerk with astonishment each time. It’s like lifting a rock and seeing life unexpectedly teeming below.
If you fell in love with a cow, the lack of emotional feedback would slowly drive you mad. You’d never know whether your feelings were reciprocated. You’d know if the cow thought it was going to rain, because it’d lie down. But you’d never know if its heart skipped a beat when you whispered its name. That is the tragedy of human-cow romances. That and the locals beating you to death with hoes.
Charlie Brooker’s Screen Burn: ‘The Private Life of Cows’. (via abeautifulline)
*squeeeeeeeeeee* *breathe* *squeeeeeeee*
Thanks for the submission, J! Lovely that they’re friends. (Also, 2 submissions in one day, they’re like buses, yada yada)
Your beautiful password is dead.
It was simply too complex and too damned exquisite to live in your humdrum world, your humdrum mind. Now you must face the ignominy of clicking the password reset button for the 58th time this year. And as you trudge dolefully toward your inbox, waiting for the help letter to arrive, the cruel laughter of His Computerised Majesty rings in your ears. You have failed, human. You have failed.
I nearly drowned once, I was a little boy. I kind of went underwater, and there was a kind of undertow, and when I stuck my head up, the beach was MILES away. So I had a few moments of thinking “Oh well, I’ll just try and swim back”, and I couldn’t, I was swimming and swimming… I was really tired and I suddenly realized that I was gonna have to shout help. And the thing about shouting help is that when you have to do it, it seems really clichéd, you know what I mean? And I always hated being obvious.
Graham Linehan, So Wrong It’s Right 2x6
David Mitchell vs. Charlie Brooker. Is there anything more entertaining?
Also? My very first gif set…once I figured out how to get them small enough, size-wise to upload as photos. HUZZAH! I’m taking the rest of the day off.